Jesus Shark

Captive shark had 'virgin birth'

Female hammerhead sharks can reproduce without having sex, scientists confirm.

The evidence comes from a shark at Henry Doorly Zoo in Nebraska which gave birth to a pup in 2001 despite having had no contact with a male.

Genetic tests by a team from Belfast, Nebraska and Florida prove conclusively the young animal possessed no paternal DNA, Biology Letters journal reports.

Seth Cooke took this article and ran with it...

"The shark story (the first of those two linked to above) is fantastic for two reasons. Firstly it's extremely heartening to know that our evil ocean dwelling distant relatives aren't such vile alien killers after all and enjoy a bit of kinky eat me/beat me sex. Biting in the bedroom is great and I'm glad they think so too. Thus bridges are built between species that otherwise seemed irreconcilable. Everyone can be happy.

Secondly, the notion of a virgin hammerhead giving birth has filled my mind with reimagined Synoptic Gospels in which Jesus is a shark. Exactly the same stories, everything identical, just that one detail altered. It'd be like Porco Rosso only instead of an idealised post WWI Mediterranean it'd be all up in your Nazareth, Bethlehem and Jerusalem, and instead of a pig biplane pilot bounty hunter you'd have Jesus as a fucking evil shark."